This month, we salute several servicemembers whose prolific artwork you've probably seen in an unlikely venue – the walls of latrines and port-o-pots all over theater. First Place in this month's contest goes to Marine Cpl Nick Cunningham of Huntington Beach, CA. While not exactly “art”, Cunningham has written: “ARMY – Ain't Ready for Marines Yet” in over 9,336 latrine stalls – 18 in women's latrines.
When asked about his contest win, Cunningham replied, “Yeah, it's tough, you gotta have a Sharpie on you at all times. The Army dudes, they get those little pen holders on their sleeves. We don't need those because we're Marines, oo-rah.”
Second place goes to PV2 Randall Kennedy of Bronx, NY. He considers himself a rival of Cunningham's, and has written “Marines are Gay” 7,896 times. Still, Kennedy has high hopes for the next contest.
“Man, I needed something more catchy. An acronym like the Marine guy has. Then I thought up this number: 'MARINE – My Ass Receives Injections of Naval Erections.' I've written that in almost 800 latrines and phone cubicles so far, and I've gotten really positive feedback.”
Third place goes to Army SGT Tommy DeFazio, of Newport News, VA. DeFazio is known for his crude depictions of tiny naked women. DeFazio was participating in a combat operation and couldn't be reached to comment on the honor, so we asked SPC Herbert Blake, the unit's armorer, to say a few words.
“There's something about the way he draws those chicks that's just a real turn on after you've been in the desert for nine months. I mean, sometimes he doesn't draw the head, and the pussy is just an upside down black triangle, but the curves on those girls! Wow!” When asked what's next for DeFazio's art career, Blake had this to say:
“Giant vaginas. He drew one up in Fallujah that took up an entire stall door. Man, we'd just sit there and stare and get lost in that thing for hours.”
Next issue
– the transition of an artist. When PFC Preston Kingsley of the prestigious
101st Airborne Division arrived in Kuwait on his first tour, he was all about
the poorly drawn eagle head and the “Thunder from the Sky” graffiti. See why
now he's changed to writing “Army Re-Enlistment Contracts, Take One” over
toilet paper dispensers, and marking his days left in country with little
hashmarks and snide comments.
Back to Issue One